=(

or its just me who always takes everything for granted and long for it only when it vanishes??

=(

behind every smile

alBehind Every Smile
Behind every smile
There's a sad little child
Who's crying inside
Trying to hide it for a while
Behind every smile
There's someone trying to break through
To show their real selves
To no longer be blue
Behind every smile
There's someone telling a lie
Not allowing anyone to see
All the tears that they've cried
Behind every smile
There's another sad face
Whose suicidal thoughts
Made them fall from grace
Behind every smile
There's somebody real
Who tries to hide their pain
And never show how they really feel
Behind every smile
There's some lost soul
Just waiting to be found
That's their primary goal
Behind every smile
There's a secret being kept
That's killing them inside
And the reason they just wept
Behind every smileIs someone all alone
Who can't stand the yelling
And wishes to leave their home
Behind every smileIs a sad little story
That they keep bottled up
And forever will they worry
Behind every smile
There's someone who lost their way
Who puts on a happy face
To get them through each and every day
so help me
and im reallie sorry
its just too hard to be myself

"keberadaannya membuatku kesal dan murka,, tetapi ketidakberadaannya membuatku letih dan lelah krna terlalu memikirkannya."

-zara clariza viananda 2006-

who u trullie are!!

dulu aku suka mikir gini,, "wah,, dia keren ye,, pinter bgt,, ga cuma di akademik aj,, tp dia juga pinter nulis,, pinter nyeni pinter sport pula,, wah,, kalo aja gw kayak dia"... tp skarang gw punya cara pikir ya beda,, "wah dia emang masi keren si,, masi pinter bgt di skola,, di seni, di sport, dll",, dan itu juga yang memacu gw buat bisa nyari kelebihan gw sendiri. "woi.. bangun,, lu juga pasti punya kelebihan,, cpet cari sblum kelebihan itu ilang,, asah itu,, dan lu juga bs jadi skeren dia." itu yang bakal gw omongin ke diri gw skarang.. karena cuma kita yang paling ngerti diri sendiri,, kalo bukan kita yang percaya ma diri kita sndiri,, emang orang laen bakal percaya???

wake up and find out who u trullie are!!!

hmm..

apapun yang elu lihat, baik itu membawa kesenangan ato kesedihan, itu adalah karena persepsi elu terhadap kejadian itu, bukan bentuk fisik kejadian itu yang mempengaruhi mood kita, namun bagaimana cara kita memandang, itu yang mempengaruhi mood kita..

u think thus u are.. sound simliar???

i used to think that peers affect our lives so much,, tp bis baca blognya tmenn gw, i then realise that it doesnt always true.. bner buat org2 yang ga tahan banting, yang imannya ga kuat,, pasti mreka ngerasa bahwa ga enak kalo nolak ajakan tmen,, tp for those who are very determined mereka pasti bakal menolak ajakan tmen2 mreka yang ga sesuai ma mreka ; -mereka ga suka dngan dat particular activity, mereka mau blajar, or wadsoever. dan sbagai tmen yang baekk, sharusnya mereka mgerti keadaan kita,, bukan mala ngatain kalo mereka ga gaul, ga stia kawan, dll, dll... but this quest comes to my mind,, actually, does our schooll affect our behaviour as well?? i mean,, take a look at those good schools, as our expectation, would be most likely to produce those better students.. mereka itu lbi banyak menghabiskan waktu buat blajar daripada menikmati keindahan duniawi.. dan i tink mereka sangat MENIKMATI hal itu..

lain halnya ma anak2 yang skola nya ga gt bgus ( no offense!!),, mreka keliatannya bgitu anti ma anak2 juara di skola mreka,, mreka lbi pngen buang waktunya buat BERGAUL daripada blajar,, dan mereka juga sangat MENIKMATI itu.. dan itu wajar,, krn org beda2...

kita hrus hormati itu,, jgn ngina,, jgn ngatain hal2 yg ga enak... but wad i tink is,, blajar jelas sangat penting,, our future depends so much upon it,, but kita juga must brgaul dalam batasan normal. karena dalam era kayak gini,, kita musti pinter2 nge-lobi org, dan kita musti punya koneksi yang banyak baru bisa jadi org , so-called, berhasil!!! tp we must say A BIG NO-NO buat pergaulan yang terlalu extreme,, yang kalo di liat itu ga ada untung2nya buat kita kedepannya,, yang mala bikin ancur masa depan kita.. pergaulan yang dimana cuma buat keren2nya doank.. dengan bergaul juga,, kita tau true color tmen2 kita smwa,, kita jadi tau yang mana yang tmen yang mana yang namanya knalan..

in a nutshell,, wad i am trying to say here is that kita musti balance out studying and havin fun.. remember that both of them has their own postive and negative points!!

UR FUTURE IS IN UR HAND NOT OTHERS!!! hehehehehh..

-sorry kalo a bit mengguru,, tp this is just my opinion and u can have urs!! u may have diff ones!! just drop some comments abt it!! and ill appreciatre urs!!

love does make me wonder..

and i was talkiing to my friend called A yst
he seemed so desperate and so down. okay. let me tell the whole story.
i chatted with A last week and that dae was his ex' bdae. so, i just told him to send my regards and wished her a happy bdae. out of expectation, she added me to her msn and we talked. bla bla bla. to a point where i asked her why she broke up with A and according to her, she said she is being dumped by him. A told her that he wanted to concentrate in his studies first.that time wad could she do was only cried cried and cried . so freaking down. luckily, this guy called B was with her everytime. he was there to comfort her. he was there to help her to move on. he was there to make her smile again and there he was to shower that gurl with his love. and yeah. he accomplished. that gurl fell for B to although she just broke up with A. fine. wadever.

but, there is one thing that i don;t understand. she told me that she was freaking dissapointed with A coz he dumped her but how the hell could she engage in the new realtionship within 2 weeks. if she reallyy loved him, it should take more than 2 weeks,obviously,for her pain to heal. i just simply dont understand. or maybe she is trying to forget A by dating with B or she just wants to make A jealous?? maybe. i dunno.

the next day, i met A in school. I told him i chatted with her ex for quite long. and i told him what she told me. i think its pretty ok, is nt iT?? and i told him. bla bla bla bla... but guess wad? wad i heard from him was totally diff from wad i heard from that gurl. he said he didnt dump that gurl and A was a frustated to see her involved in the new relationship so quickly. he told me he just wanted to time out their realtionship initially. if one of them wanted to be together again during the time and they would be a couple again. but i tink there was a misunderstanding there. so there she goes having a new boyfriend, which is B, where A got so jealous looking at their potographs. who could we blame? no one. oh ya. maybe love itself.

wad i am trying to say is that if love is so good, why does it let people suffer because of it. the pain is deffinitely unbearable. they cant think using their common sense, they are gloomy and in blues. obviously, people know from the start if they fell in love, they have to bear with the pain (or wadever u call it) later on.. but why people can live without love? why everyone needs it?? maybe love is just so freaking irresistable and unrestrained.


Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

yeah.maybe u should read this sentence before u decide to fall in love =p... ciao!!!

So we talked all night about the rest of our lives. where we’re gonna be when we turn 25. I keep on thinking times will never change, keep on thinking things will always be the same.but when we leave this year we won’t be coming back no more hanging out cause we’re on a different track and if you got something that you need to say,you better say it right now cause you don’t have another day.cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down .these memories are playing like a without sound. I keep thinking of that night. didn’t know much of love nut it came too soon and there was me and you and when we got real blue.we’d stay at home talking on the telephone. we’d get so excited and we’d get so scared, laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair. and this is how it feels… as we go on, we remember all the times we, had together and as our lives change come whatever we will still be friends forever so if we get the big jobs and we make the big money when we look back at now will our jokes still be funny? will we still remember everything we learned in school will we still try to break every single rule? will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man? will heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan? I keep- I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye. keep on thinking it’s our time to fly.will we think about tomorrow like we think about now? can we survive it out there??? can we make it somehow? I guess I thought this would never end and suddenly it’s like we’re women and men. will the past be a shadow that will follow us around? will these memories fade when I leave this town? will we meet again one day? when i have my own probs to think about and u have urs?? will we share the blues feeling again?? sigh,, this is life...